Keeping Me Balanced

I'm pretty new at this but quite frankly it's cheaper than a psychiatrist so "venting" will be the game and "blogging" will be the name. So let me begin  by saying I have 3 beautiful children... Alyssa 3, Aidan 2, and Juiliana 4mos. My oldest has cerebral palsy and epilepsy and it can be more than heartbreaking at times. They tell you not to loose faith that she'll become a productive member of society but I wish I could live under that sugar coated pretense. I struggle daily for a balance I can live with. Am I doing enough with my children educationally and fundamentally? Am I doing everything I can for my daughter and her medical condition? Am I being foolish by believing that postponing college until my children are in school is the best decision I could have made? Am I giving enough of myself to my husband? Many nights I've laid awake with these things bouncing from brain wall to brain wall and ultimately never finding answers. Sometimes I feel like I'm giving so much of myself to those I love that there's nothing left of myself for, well.... me. I don't know who I am anymore. Well that's not entirely true.... I'm their mother and his wife. I have a lot of work ahead of me I know to find that place in life where I belong, not a place where I've settled. Don't get me wrong. I love being "Mommy" and love my Christopher more than words could ever say but I love myself too and quite frankly I miss myself.